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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?